How do you ask for guidance in today’s world? Here’s what comes to mind for me, based on a recent experience.
Traits
I wanted to ask for specific guidance and feedback from some people I admired, people I worked with. I wanted to understand if and how my work, and the way I am, impacted them.
There are people who are able to spot their strong traits and weak traits easily. I am not one of those people. I often dismiss what I can do or am not aware of what my true skills are.
Obviously, it is not like I am 100% unaware. But I tend to consider that part normal, just the normal day-to-day stuff that is not extraordinary or special.
Teaching
The other thing I wanted to avoid is that sometimes we think we are good at something, but we are actually not good at teaching it or guiding people through it.
It is something I learned from my singing teacher. She often reminded me that someone might be good at singing, but they might not be good at teaching singing. The mechanism might be different. They might not know how to decompose, or even remember, the pieces that can make someone progress.
They are so used to being skilled that they do not remember the initial part where you are building the skills. Or maybe they were just talented, so they never arrived at that part.
Time
Whenever you are asking people for guidance, you really need to remember that what you are truly asking for is their time to help you.
Sometimes you might have something to offer back because maybe it is useful for them. But sometimes it might be mostly to help you. To me, that always seemed a little bit unfair.
The way I do this is to remind myself first: Why do I care about this?
It is easy to just ask the question, and it is probably shorter, but it is also valuable to explain why this is important. Why am I asking you? Why do I care about this?
Admiration
Usually, it is because I admire the person. I highly respect their opinion. I think they are very smart, very empathetic, or whatever. I am asking because I care about something.
I have always admired people who were able to transform other people through coaching, guidance, and things like that. It is something I have always kept in my mind, even though I surely forget it from time to time.
Remembering why I care and why I value their opinion is a good way to ask these types of questions, especially when I do not have something to give back to them. They are not randomly chosen.
The thing I personally give back in scenarios like this is that I share something I probably never quite took the time to explicitly say out loud: I highly value your opinion. I admire you.
We might admire people, but we might skip saying that because we are worried about power dynamics inside the workplace or about being misinterpreted. Sometimes that is the right thing to do. But I think some people never get the chance to truly appreciate the impact they had on the people they worked with, even in small interactions.
So saying that out loud, whatever the role, is important to me.
Credit
When something makes a difference for me, I always try to reach out to those people, often privately, and just say, “Hey, this is great. I’m super impressed that you’re doing this.”
The goal is not to have friends or get something back. The goal is really to give credit where credit is due.
Some people do not have that opportunity because maybe you are too high in the chain of command. But I think everyone should have this kind of guiding light, people being honest with them when they are doing good or doing bad, so they can learn and get feedback.
AI
I had writer’s block when asking this question to them because I did not know how to frame the question.
So I asked for some ideas about which questions I could ask and how to frame them to my dear digital non-friend.
From those questions, I realized, “Oh, that is the framing that I wanted,” and I brought my framing, my version. The AI did not write the question, nor the content. It helped me framing it and find the right words.
Doing it this way, you have content that has been informed but not created or augmented by artificial intelligence.
That is another way to use AI. We always see AI as something that does work for us, and it is powerful in that.
But it can also be a thinking partner. It can be something you use to have ideas, expand the opportunities, and choose which path and which way you want to go.
You could still do it with a human, and you would probably get different answers and different ideas. But that is another opportunity to use AI, not for writing, but to inspire your writing and give you some additional ideas that you will finish.
Endings
Whatever guidance you ask, expect some people to reply, some to not reply (unless you’re doing it live). Accept whatever you get, and as with always “Take what you need, leave what you don’t”.














